Q. For children in catechumenate, is it not preferred to have parents present participating with the children and using parish sponsors only when the parents are not able to be present? I am getting a lot of “we always did it that way,” but I want to do things the preferred way.
A. Thanks so much for reaching out. Parents should absolutely be present at the rites for their children. They are a sign of support for their children. RCIA 254 and 254.2 states the importance of parents in the process, and even in the celebration of the rite itself (260). Unless there are some family problems, I wouldn’t celebrate the rites without the presence of the parents, which shows their support and consent.
It would be a good idea to refresh yourself on the Directory for Masses with Children, in particular paragraphs 16-19. The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults was adapted for children especially in language. But an astute presider should be encouraged to dialogue, ritually, with the children and adapt the prayers from the adult rite, RCIA Part 1. In my own ministry experience, while I have not used the rites within RCIA Part II:1 (Christian Initiation of Children who have Reached Catechetical Age), I have used its principles when accompanying children and their families.
Further, taking RCIA 257 to heart, celebrating with children can be done at the less attended Mass, for example, at a Saturday evening liturgy, so that children might be more at ease.
Do you have a question?
If you have a question about this topic or anything else concerning catechumenate ministry, just add it to the comments section below!
How is a parish to handle some teenagers’ requests to become Catholic, even though their parents are not Catholic? Is there a need for the parents’ written approval for them to come to classes? Please advise!
Thank you!
Hi Sr. Carol….just a few thoughts here.
When teenagers express a desire to become Catholic, even though their parents are not Catholic, it’s a moment that calls for pastoral sensitivity, and creativity.
Their interest in the faith is a sign of the Spirit moving in their lives, and the parish’s role is to respond with compassion, understanding, and gentle accompaniment. While there is no universal requirement for written parental consent for minors to begin the initiation process, it is strongly encouraged that parents be involved…in some way…and often times it is not the entire thing. Their support – whether active or simply informed – can be a powerful influence in the young person’s spiritual journey. Canon Law (especially 843 and 784) and the National Statutes remind and emphasize the importance of adapting the process to the age and life of the candidate.
A good starting point is to create a welcoming space (don’t forget snacks!) where the teen feels safe to share their story and ask questions – often with peers they know (if they are the one who brought them to the community). If possible, arrange a friendly meeting (with snacks!) that includes their parents or guardians, not to seek permission, but to build trust and explain the process – maybe using the 5 inquiry questions that Nick created. This helps parents understand how their child’s faith is being nurtured and how they can be part of that journey, even if they don’t share the same beliefs. The catechesis should be age-appropriate, engaging, and allow for open dialogue and, ultimately, listening. Pairing the teen with a mentor can offer consistent support and encouragement. Throughout the process, celebrate small milestones, respect their privacy, and remain attentive to their unique circumstances. And as always consult diocesan guidelines to ensure the process is aligned with local norms established by your bishop.
Hope this helps and let us know what steps you done and might do in the comments as well!