A mother and her teen-age daughter came to our information session about adult Christian initiation. Maureen was interested in becoming Catholic, and her daughter Maggie, recently graduated from 8th grade, was also interested.
Now, as a family of two, they had taken a step they had talked about for several months and were eager to move forward. Baptized as a teen in a local evangelical church, Maureen had not had her daughter baptized, wanting her to make that choice herself. Neither had been to any church service since before the family split up a few years ago, but this spring something had happened that made them both aware of the desire for God, for faith and a community in their lives.
The feelings ran deep and they wanted to begin that journey together. In a long conversation, Maureen shared that her second marriage had dissolved in an angry and hurtful separation and now that the divorce was final she wanted to move on into a faith she felt called to many years ago.
Making connections
A friend of Maggie’s and her family were close friends with Maureen too, and they often did things together. They had invited Maureen and Maggie to join them at their parish church festival and a few times to Sunday Mass. The death of her first husband had left Maureen not at all sure of a loving, caring God; the evangelical church of her youth had moved to another location and she was not in touch with the new pastor there at all.
Her family friends had helped her begin to see that a loving God might in fact be real, but that was not yet her own experience. Most importantly, Maureen and Maggie were here, asking for a faith community and a way to find a loving and merciful God who would always be there for them.
Good conversation and discernment helped us work with Maureen as an inquirer preparing soon to join the ongoing precatechumenate group. Maggie and Mom decided that Maggie would feel more free to listen and share with youth her own age rather than attending the adult group with her mom. Finding the right fit for each of them was both challenging and rewarding. Different schedules and different catechists, various activities and ongoing conversations with team members and youth ministers helped all of us, especially Maureen and Maggie, appreciate the differences and similarities between their formation processes.
Finding the right fit for a parent and child together was both challenging and rewarding. Different schedules and different catechists, various activities and ongoing conversations with team members and youth ministers helped all of us, especially the family, appreciate the differences and similarities between their formation processes.
Filling in the gaps
A few individual meetings with the two of them also helped us to fill in some gaps and respond to individual questions and concerns. The two-year formation process for Maggie helped Maureen take the additional time she needed to deal with her anger toward God and her ex-husband, apply for and receive the annulment she wanted, learn more deeply the habits of prayer and faith sharing and attending Mass.
Eventually, Maureen, as a candidate and with her daughter as a catechumen, chose to participate in dismissal at the same Sunday Mass. We learned that they enjoyed learning from each other and the rest of the group at the dismissal sessions and that discussions continued at home. They took time to share each other’s formation materials at home, and asked their respective catechists the questions that arose. There was a good bit of humor and clarification as the responses were also shared.
It may be more common to have fully initiated Catholic parents or grandparents bring children to faith formation and Christian initiation sessions, but when family members respond to the movement of the Holy Spirit at about the same time amazing things happen, and the parish community welcomes a family into its own family of faith.
