In this article, I want to talk about finding and welcoming inquirers. The truth is, you probably have potential inquirers showing up at your parish every weekend. And even though it likely says something in your mission statement about being a welcoming parish, most of those potential inquirers do not come back for a second visit because they didn’t feel a welcoming presence.
I have some personal experience with this. Before the pandemic lockdown, Diana and I would travel to ten or more locations a year to lead catechumenate training institutes. That means that over a span of ten years we were in at least ten different parishes a year for Saturday evening or Sunday morning Mass. So 100 parishes or more.
I can literally count on one hand the number of times a parishioner who was not at the institute recognized that we were new to the parish and welcomed us. Even so, I know for a fact that all of these parishes were welcoming communities, just as I know your parish is a welcoming community.
Shifting our perspective on Sunday Mass
So if most of our parishes are welcoming communities and most inquirers who show up at our parishes don’t feel welcomed, what’s going on? I don’t know for sure, but I have a guess. I think we do not treat our own parishes as “mission territory.” We think of Sunday Mass as a time to be with God and maybe also to see some of our friends. I’ve often heard of Sunday Mass described as a time to recharge our batteries. For most of us, Mass is not a time to evangelize.
And if we really want more inquirers in our catechumenate process, we have to change that thinking. If you think of it from the point of view of a seeker, when else are they most likely to show up? Even folks who have no Christian background know that the place to find Christians is in church.
Someone who has hit bottom in their addiction or who has just lost the love of their life or who was just let go from their job or who was just diagnosed with something serious or who is just plain lonely says to themselves, “Self, there must be more to life than this. Where can I find some solace and comfort?”
And while the seeker might not know it, that is a prayer to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit then whispers to the seeker, “Try the 10am at St. James. There are some welcoming folks there.”
But when the seeker shows up (at 10:10, because they don’t want to be too noticeable, or they couldn’t figure out where to park or where the door to your church was, or they couldn’t find the restroom once they got there), no one speaks to them. And I get it. Mass has already started. We have songs to sing and prayers to pray. But what if we train ourselves, as a catechumenate team, to be on the lookout for people who don’t know how to use the hymnal? Or don’t know when to stand or kneel? Or don’t come to Communion? Or who we just plain don’t recognize?
Your challenge this coming weekend is to notice at least three people you don’t recognize at your Sunday liturgy. Pray about this, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
A challenge to welcome the stranger
If there are three people on your team, and each of you recognizes a new person every Sunday, that’s over 150 people a year. Not all of those 150 people are actually seekers. Some are Catholic visitors, like Diana and me. Some are relatives of a parishioner. Some are actually parishioners who we just don’t yet know. But let’s say that over the course of the year, ten percent of the 150 people your team notices are actual seekers. That’s 15 people a year. And I promise you, in most parishes, the number of seekers that show up at least once during the year is much higher than that.
So your challenge this coming weekend is to notice at least three people you don’t recognize at your Sunday liturgy. Pray about this, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
Then what? What do you do after you see a new face? You probably have some ideas, and I would love it if you would share your thoughts in the comments box below. I’ll share my own ideas in an upcoming article.
Remember, creating a welcoming parish starts with you. Every encounter is an opportunity to reflect Christ’s love. By being present and attentive to those around you, practicing active listening, and showing genuine interest in others’ journeys, you can transform your parish into a place where seekers truly feel seen, valued, and loved.
If you’re going to meet and greet people, PLEASE put name-tags on. Ex-atheists, who are at the shopping-around stage, do not like to be “jumped” with invites or welcomes from unidentified persons – we are skittish and skeptical, just looking for a reason not to come back, so please don’t add to it by assuming that we’re weak, needy or lonely. “Community” is usually not the reason that ex-atheists get baptized into Catholicism, many have been alone all their lives and they like it that way, they’re not looking for a field hospital, that’s not the reason we would join up.
Thanks for your insights, Donna. Name tags are a great suggestion. I hear that looking for a field hospital is not the reason you would join a parish. I wonder if you would share a little more about what you *are* looking for. Blessings on your journey.
Ex-atheists get baptized in Catholicism for one reason: truth for eternity. We are actually more behaviourally suited to Quakerism, the trouble is, Quakerism isn’t real to us and Catholicism, the first Church, is.
Atheists and ex-atheists do not need emotional support or want nosey questions, especially as they get older. It’s not a personal spiritual journey for them. It’s the truth they want to see and experience first hand, and that doesn’t involve group discussions.
I am still an ex-atheist, I refused to get baptized after finally being told about all the rites, rituals and celebrations, because most of us outright refuse public displays. Once a lady exclaimed to me “Look at them! It’s a cult! If they actually believed it, they wouldn’t act like that, they wouldn’t need all this public reinforcement, I certainly won’t do it, it’s weird!” Unfortunately, that lady’s opinion had more influence on me than anything else, and she said exactly what the typical atheist or ex-atheist thinks of “rituals” and “celebrations”.
But you will always find some unbaptized ex-atheists at Mass every Sunday, responding and singing along, you can tell who we are because week after week, year after year, we never line up for the Eucharist. We’re not imposters, ex-atheists simply think Catholicism is beautiful and they gain a bit of knowledge or insight every single Sunday, so that’s why we go. The Parish we now visit has a superb Priest, highly conservative and realistic, funny and smart. Anybody would want to go, and they do!
Losing potential converts is such a shame because the new Pope Leo XIV is perfect and I think with him at the helm, a lot of ex-atheists would join up, but in your pre-interviews, please make sure the OCIA is honest, forthcoming and thorough. Tell people what they have to do to get baptized (at least 6 public procedures, supervision by, and the approval of, a sponsor); make sure pre-inquirers understand about marriage rules, all well in advance of the inquiry period. You will save your own time and their anger. At the RCIA I briefly attended for 4 months (in another town), I saw about 20 inquirers walk out; they felt gypped and misled, myself included. Also importantly, the Priests in that particular Parish were un-energetic mumblers and the music was Josh Groban style, no organ, no chants or hymns, it was so depressing! This is very unfortunate and it all could be avoided.
There are very few mature ex-atheists who would finish the OCIA, so numbers-wise, it’s probably not worth it to OCIA to kowtow to ex-atheists. We’re much less work to the program providers because we don’t need convincing, ***but*** we also won’t do some of what OCIA requires! And wear name tags, please, in big bold letters. Another thing you could do is have a “visitor pew” at the back *not* at the front, where if visitors don’t already know where they want to sit, there could be little prayer flyers or the format of the Mass at each seating spot in the pew, so each visitor can follow along if s/he wants, without asking anybody. At “our” local Parish, visitors might stand or sit in the Choir Loft, so they can watch the entire service panoramically without being mistaken for an active Catholic. Please be sure everyone speaking at the front can be heard loud and clear, muttering the Mass is a big deterrent. Good luck