Perhaps we need a new model for thinking about the role of RCIA sponsors. The model that many parishes have is something like a friend who drops by occasionally. Granted, many of you have deeper expectations than that of the sponsors in your process. But that fact that a profound commitment from sponsors is seen as exceptional or impractical in many places makes you the exception that proves my point.
What Alcoholics Anonymous can teach RCIA teams about sponsorship
A model we might draw some inspiration from is that of an Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor. I can’t say I know much about the duties of an AA sponsor, beyond what can be observed casually as an outsider to the process. But what I have observed is impressive. Here some things I think are true about AA sponsors:
- Being an AA sponsor is a privilege. Perhaps it is a duty also, but sponsors appear to be alcoholics who are now living a disciplined, sober life. The analogy for Christian sponsors is that they don’t need to be the best Christians in our parish. But they do have to be among the most committed to living a disciplined, Christian lifestyle.
- An AA sponsor has a vocation. They probably don’t call it that, but what would you call it? AA sponsors seem to be available anytime, day or night. They help their person struggle through times of self-doubt and temptation. They are the rock in the storm. Sounds like a vocation to me, and one that Christians sponsors could emulate.
- No two AA sponsors are alike. That’s because no two recovering alcoholics are alike. The obvious parallel is that we have to match inquirers to sponsors who “fit.” Making an effective match will require RCIA leaders to practice a lot of active listening with both the inquirers and the potential sponsors of the parish.
- AA sponsors go to meetings. And Christian sponsors should also go to meetings. They should be at training meetings, ritual rehearsals, and catechetical sessions. And, of course, they should be exemplary participants in the worship life of the parish. Christians sponsors go to all these events to support their person, of course, but they also go because it benefits them spiritually.
- AA sponsors are inspiring. I don’t think they try to be inspiring. But the people they are sponsoring look to them for inspiration, and the sponsors do not shirk from their responsibility to offer that inspiration to the best of their ability. How much more so should that be true of Christian sponsors? Christian sponsors should be constantly “in-Spiriting” their catechumens.
- AA sponsors have been there. The qualifications to be an AA sponsor, as far as I can tell, have nothing to do with having great coaching skills, being good counselors, or even having expert knowledge of Alcoholics Anonymous. What qualifies them is that they’ve walked the walk. And that’s the primary qualification for Christian sponsors as well.
- AA sponsors are all about “one day at a time.” The analogy for Christian sponsors is that they don’t have to have all the answers. They don’t have to solve all the problems. They just have to live this day, this moment, as a faithful disciple. And they have to encourage their catechumen to do the same.
This seems like a lot to ask of busy parishioners, and it is. That’s what I mean by needing a new model. If our model is the “casual friend,” we will ask people for too little when we ask them to be sponsors.
RCIA sponsorship seems like a big sacrifice
This seems like a lot to ask of busy parishioners, and it is. That’s what I mean by needing a new model. If our model is the “casual friend,” we will ask people for too little when we ask them to be sponsors. On the other hand, what we are asking, when we ask for a vocation-like commitment, is not really much more than Christ asks of us at our baptism. We promised to die to ourselves for the sake of others. Christian sponsors are especially privileged with a very clear path for fulfilling that promise.
Share your thoughts
What do you think? Do you have direct experience with the AA process and the role of sponsors? What parallels do you see between an AA sponsor and a Christian sponsor?
AA Sponsors also know that sponsoring improves their disciplined life. It keeps them walking the talk because they are now providing another with support. The same is true of initiation sponsors, who often indicate that the journey has en-Spirited them as much as it has their catechumen/elect.
This article is very timely because I really want to have a “cache” of people that I can ask to sponsor our catechumens. This year has made the need evident. We are down to the wire and the sponsors chosen by the parents of our children are not showing up for rehearsals, etc.
One question that I have is about matching the sponsors and the catechumens. At the forum, I thought we were told to let the Holy Spirit do the work and not to worry about how we put the two together. I think that is how it happens at AA meetings. Someone just steps up when a new person comes to a meeting. Sometimes it is a sober friend who has encouraged the alcoholic to attend the meeting and then stands by as the sponsor. At other times, several people will come forward in support and from that group one will offer to be the sponsor. Being an AA sponsor is much harder than being a CI sponsor and for those who take their role seriously, you are correct in calling it a vocation.
Our sponsors attend everything that our inquirers do all year long. Usually, because of this, sponsors have one of the most profound conversion experiences of anyone in the group!
I have always RCIA sponsors to attend all catechetical sessions, rehearsals, rites, etc. with their candidate or catechumen. Not an option!
They also attend an all day retreat with them before Lent begins – Discernment Retreat.
It’s very important and most sponsors say they get more out of the process than the person they sponsored!
I have had two sponsors and today I sponsor five in AA/NA. My sponsors are my guides, they are trust worthy. We must be comfortable with one and other for things to work. It is a gift from our higher power that allows the steps to work. True growth in a spiritual life I believe comes when we give of ourselves and allow God to work through us while working with others.